To be honest

It’s a very strange saying, the “tbh” that has become so popularized in texting and colloquial lingo. People will use this to convey seriousness, to get people to put away their phones for a second and really listen to what they’re about to say. But it doesn’t make sense!

Saying “to be honest” implies that everything you were saying before this point was a lie, a farce, a half-baked statement at best. And really, it’s not even that the phrase is just ironic, but it’s a pretty good way of pointing out how many people conduct their conversations. Think about it-

When was the last time you went a day without lying?

From fabricating excuses to get out of a meeting to telling your friend they definitely pull off bangs, most people tell small lies on a regular basis. You might think they do it to spare other people’s feelings, but really, lying usually boils down to keeping yourself out of conflict. I’m genuinely hard-pressed to imagine a world where nobody ever lied. (And then right away, I’m reminded of a movie where this is exactly the case.)

I think there’s value in those people who are consistently candid. I appreciate simplicity, in a world where lying usually brings about the opposite. I believe that relationships of all kinds, from friendships to romantic endeavors, would benefit from more honesty.

It may seem weird, but try removing the phrase “to be honest” from your vocabulary, and instead, simply be honest all the time. Or at the very least, stop and think about how much you’ve hidden or spoken untruthfully every time you go to use the phrase. Speaking candidly, in my eyes, doesn’t stop at being completely honest in everything you say. Speaking candidly extends to the very atmosphere of your conversations. I’m candid with my friends, and conversations we have are relaxed, thought-provoking at times and filled with laughs most of the time.

Maybe being candid with everyone would lead to the same thing.

Candid

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